etienne

Etienne left the hall, bid farewell to Olivier and headed back to his room. He was still in a state of shock with the enormity of the task that his father had bestowed on him. All he wanted to do was see Arlette; he needed to tell her. He made his way up the stone staircase back to his room, one slow step in front of another, each step contemplating what the following days would bring. He reached his room and lay on his bed, facing out the window, willing the sun from the sky. When it finally fell Etienne took his leave. He followed the same route he had a hundred times before, skipping from one shadow to another, shadows that had become his friend and confident over the past year. He didn’t slow. Out the castle gate, through the city street and finally to Arlette’s house. He entered and found her, as she often was, in her chair in front of the fire sewing. She turned to look at him, the relief of his presence obvious. Etienne froze and made a conscious effort to remember how beautiful she looked, he would use that memory in the future to give him strength. The aching in his chest testament to how much he loved her. “What is going to happen Etienne?” She had already heard rumours from the market.
“I did not get to tell my father Arlette, I am sorry.”
“I heard whispers in the market. The time was not right to tell him Etienne, I am glad you did not say anything. Is it true that the king is to attack Chaval.”
“Our army is not ready, but the time will come.”
“Well why then do you look troubled my love?”
“I am going to ride with Olivier to Chaval with an offer of parley.” They had never kept secrets from each other before. It was one of things that made then so strong, and he wanted to let her know exactly what was to happen. “The men of this city are currently not equal to the strength of Chaval’s army. We need to find more time for our men to heal and prepare.”
“But Etienne, does it have to be you?” Arlette’s eyes were already beginning to fill with tears.
“I asked the king to let me go. He was to ride but I persuaded him to let me, for the good of Avalon.” Arlette ran to Etienne and held him. “He is going to ask Chaval for a commitment to give of our neighbours some of their kingdoms back. He will offer this in exchange for our commitment to not attack Chaval.” Etienne leant back, still holding Arlette, in order that he could look her in the eyes. He held her face in his hands. He needed her to see the strength he had in his eyes, the belief that this was the right thing to do. He wanted to assure her that everything would be all right, but his words were not enough. He leant forward and kissed her. He knew the danger that lay ahead, and the fact that Chaval would probably not agree to such parley, but did not want to show this to her. They had learnt that it was in their embrace they could forget about the complexities of the world, they could close their eyes and see rushing clouds not storms, and so they held each other. They had become so close that in each other’s arms they became a single entity, they were each other’s life, the thought of not being together was incomprehensible.
“We leave the day after tomorrow.” Arlette still said nothing. She just held him. They spent the night in one another’s arms, and despite Etienne’s wishes the sun rose again. But on this morning Etienne didn’t leave. They stayed in bed until the sun was high. Holding each other. Etienne continued to try and reassure Arlette. “I will be home in a day. It is an easy ride, and I have Olivier to protect me should we face any danger.” But Arlette’s eyes would not dry, and her hand continued to clasp his like the last remaining fruit on an autumn tree.
“When you return we can go away together,” said Arlette. “I spoke to a merchant in the market. He told me that there is a beautiful bay a few days ride from here. It can be just me and you Etienne, away from Avalon.” It was so painful for Etienne to watch his love hurting in this way. “We could make a shelter and sleep under the stars, just like the first time we met Etienne.” Why had it come to this? Etienne asked himself. Arlette continued to try and fill her thoughts with dreams of the future, but midday came and Etienne got from their bed and started to dress.
“I must go my love. I will already have drawn attention to the fact that I am not in the castle.” Etienne leaned over the bed and kissed Arlette, he could see that she was trying not to cry. “I will not be able to come back tonight as we have much preparation for our journey.” He lifted himself from her and walked to the door, pausing to see his love for one last time. “I will tell my father of our love when I return. I love you.”

Etienne woke the following morning aware he had barely slept. The cities two finest horses, beautiful black stallions with coats that shone like a crow’s wings, had been made ready for them. Their armour had been polished and their valises packed. The day was spent with the king’s advisers. “You’ve got to listen.” The Marshal shouted, obviously becoming agitated by Olivier and Etienne’s apparent unwillingness to concentrate. “You need to have this route committed to memory. You need to able to see it when your eyes close. It is too dangerous for us to give you a map in case it falls into the wrong hands. Lets go over it again. Olivier, tell me in which direction you need to head when you get to the river?” It felt to Etienne they had been over the route too many times already. His head was hurting and the dank smell of the circular room mixed with the burning candles was beginning to make him feel sick.
“I need a rest.” said Olivier. “I know the route. I know not to talk when I get to Chaval, I know how to stand, I know not to make eye contact, I know not to give up my arms, I know, I know, I know.” Olivier jumped out of his seat and walked out the door.
“Wait here I will go and get him,” Etienne said to the Marshal. He was thankful for his friend’s departure. He caught up with Olivier outside the castle doors. Olivier was sat on a small wall, his head held in his hands. “Are you alright Olivier?”
“I couldn’t take it any more Et. I know what we have to do. I know the safest routes, where to be weary of ambush, to decline food, avoid threatening behaviour, I just don’t know how I am going to be able to see the man who has brought such misery to this land, to my people, my family and not stab him straight through the heart.” Etienne sat down next to his friend and put his arm around his shoulder.
“You need to get that thought from your mind Olivier. You cannot go into that castle thinking like that. I need you to be strong my friend.”
“But he burnt down my home Etienne. The homes of my people, even our Cathedral which we built together. I don’t know that I can.”
“You can Olivier, because if you don’t we will both die. That is a certainty. And we will both die in vein. Do you want that?'
“No, of course it I don’t.”
“Then lets go back to the Marshal and go through it again.” The boys walked back to the room to find that the king was there.
“Etienne, Olivier.” The king said as they entered the room. His formality, practiced over many years, a well used disguise to hide his emotions. “You have both shown great courage in doing this, your cities will forever owe you a debt of gratitude, as will I.”
“It is our honour,” they replied in unison.
“The parchment I wish you to deliver to Chaval has now been written and sealed by my ring. The seal is to be broken only by the king himself. Etienne I give this to you. Protect it, but above all protect yourself and your friend. I am proud of you son, as I always have been, and your mother would be too. Olivier,” the king turned to his attention, “you have also shown great bravery. I am leaving in your protection my only son. Return safely. You have also brought great honour to your family.” With these final words the king walked forward and embraced Olivier, he then turned back to his son, and looked him in the eyes. “To honour is loyal, to return is legendary. Keep safe my son.” He then put his arms around him and held him tighter than Etienne had ever remembered him holding him before. The king then turned and walked from the room, not showing the tears that were now falling down his cheeks.
Etienne’s night was again mostly without sleep, and the little that he did have was full of vivid dreams of his love, his child and a dark shadowy danger that he couldn’t see but only sense. He decided his best efforts in the pursuit of sleep were keeping him awake even more and so decided to get dressed and go down to check on the horses. It wasn’t long before Olivier joined him, slowly followed by pages, squires and the rest of the castle staff. They had all come to help Etienne and Olivier with their last preparations for their journey.
The sun’s arc breached the mountains with consternation. The time had come for departure. Etienne checked one last time he still had his father’s parchment safely tucked inside his tunic, and his mother’s cross around his neck. He saddled his horse, Olivier followed suit and they made their way out of the stable. The dawn was still with expectation, and the city that he loved was silent. A crowd of people had formed in the castle courtyard. Etienne and Olivier slowly made their way out of the castle gate, waving goodbye to their friends and family. Olivier’s father walked to the side of his son’s horse. Olivier bent down from his horse and held his father. “Return soon son,” the King of Citerne said as he let go of the last remaining member of his family.
“I will father.”
As they reached the gate Etienne turned to look up at the balcony where he knew his father would be watching. He had been avoiding looking up at him until the very last moment. As Etienne expected, when he turned to look up the king stood on the balcony alone, the pains of what he had let happen evident in his face. He saw the king raise his hand and then drop it back to his side. Etienne smiled back and nodded. They didn’t turn again. Their horses thankfully seemed to be leading the way as they sat lucid upon them, a potion of adrenalin and fear leaving them paralysed. Etienne was aware he still had one person to see. Their route out of the city took them past Arlette’s house. The main street was muddy, their horse’s hooves splashing in the cold winter puddles, the only noise to break the silence. They rounded the corner onto Arlette’s street. Etienne noticed candlelight from within her house. She was awake. As they approached her door it opened as if she had been waiting behind it all night. Etienne rode up to her, he didn’t dismount but leant down and with one arm took Arlette and lifted her up on to his horse and sat her sidesaddle between his legs. Arlette placed her hands on his cheeks and kissed him, “Come back to me my love.” She then removed a small charm bracelet from her wrist. It was made form tiny shells that she  must have collected, threaded on a thin piece of yarn, simple but beautiful. She took Etienne's hand kissed it, and then slipped the bracelet on.
“I will,” he replied, “I love you”. Etienne lifted Arlette back off his horse and gently placed her on the floor, and the horses started to move again. They continued to hold hands until their fingertips finally parted. Etienne turned to face her as the horses led the way out of the city. It felt like a rock had hit him in the chest, but Etienne knew that he would be back soon and he was doing this for the protection of his love as much as the for the city.
They passed through the city gate in silence without seeing another person. When they were clear of the city Olivier turned to Etienne.
“Who was that?” Olivier enquired with a jovial smile unfitting with the moment. Etienne appreciated the fact that Olivier had waited until they left the city walls before asking his burning question. He paused contemplating his reply.
“Olivier I will tell you but you must swear you will tell no one. My father does not know and I want to be the one to tell him as soon as we return.”
“Of course I won’t my brother you know you can trust me.”
“Her name is Arlette.”
“And?” enquired Olivier.
“And we are in love. We have been since the first time our eyes met two winters ago.”
“Well you kept that secret well, my friend. She is a beautiful woman and I can see that she returns your love.”
“She is truly a amazing. My days begin and end with thoughts of her.”
“How have kept it secret so long?” asked Olivier.
“It has been difficult, but we have been careful.”
“Why have you not told your father yet?”
“I have wanted to but Arlette requested that I did  not. She worries that my father has much to worry about, with the city and Chaval. The fact that his son is in love with a woman who lives in his city and is not of suitable descent should not be a burden of his at this incredibly trying time,” Etienne explained.
“She is possibly right Etienne, but I am surprised that you have been able to not say anything.” Olivier paused and looked to the horizon as if to let this sink in. “Now I understand,” he replied, nodding his head.
“Understand what Olivier?” replied Etienne.
“Why you were so adamant that you wouldn’t marry Chaval’s daughter.” Etienne shot Olivier a stare.
“No Olivier. Arlette is not the reason I would not marry into Chaval’s family. I do not love her, that is the reason I will not marry her.”
“I am sorry my friend I mean not to offend you. I just thought a rich, beautiful, powerful…”
“You think too little, too often Olivier,” Etienne interjected. “There is something else.” Etienne paused not sure whether it was a good idea to tell his friend or not, and still incensed at his initial reaction.
“Go on.”
“She is to have our child.” Olivier looked at Etienne whose smile told his friend how he felt about this.
“That is fantastic news my brother, I am so pleased for you both.
“Thank you Olivier.”
“If it is a boy you must name him after me.”
“I might just do that.”