Comments for The forgotten legacy

Comment on The how by Dipper sent a spelling edit. | gooseGrade

Dipper sent a spelling edit. | gooseGrade — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 13:35:57 +0000

[...] 2009 worth 2 pointsOriginal: speeling to go inEdit: spelling to go inStatus: PendingReport Abusehttp://grohbag.com/the-how/ [...]

Comment on Chapter 1 by nibbs sent an edit. | gooseGrade

nibbs sent an edit. | gooseGrade — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 13:36:29 +0000

[...] were bustling and the nets were full the city was happy and healthy.Status: AcceptedReport Abusehttp://grohbag.com/?p=95 [...]

Comment on Prologue by vmhughes sent a grammar edit. | gooseGrade

vmhughes sent a grammar edit. | gooseGrade — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 13:36:06 +0000

[...] given away and continued unrest within his house left Louis vulnerable. Status: AcceptedReport Abusehttp://grohbag.com/?p=66 [...]

Comment on Prologue by vmhughes sent an edit. | gooseGrade

vmhughes sent an edit. | gooseGrade — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 13:01:24 +0000

[...] Gradually throughout the next century Edit: eliminate "generally"Status: AcceptedReport Abusehttp://grohbag.com/?p=66 [...]

Comment on Prologue by vmhughes sent a grammar edit. | gooseGrade

vmhughes sent a grammar edit. | gooseGrade — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 13:01:07 +0000

[...] of darkness seven knights rode from Paris in search of a new life. Status: AcceptedReport Abusehttp://grohbag.com/?p=66 [...]

Comment on The book by rolltide sent a grammar edit. | gooseGrade

rolltide sent a grammar edit. | gooseGrade — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 10:36:08 +0000

[...] 2 pointsOriginal: land, only together can Edit: land. Only together can Status: AcceptedReport Abusehttp://grohbag.com/?page_id=7 [...]

Comment on Prologue by nduke

nduke — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 08:37:04 +0000

I’ll add some more ‘meat’ to this section. I really appreciate the comments. Thanks.

Comment on Prologue by nduke

nduke — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 08:36:07 +0000

I’ll stick with past tense for prologue as advised. Thanks.

Comment on Prologue by Vanessa

Vanessa — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:49:31 +0000

Content comment:
very cool premise for a story. While you set the stage well for intrigue, conspiracy and revenge, there is a LOT of factoids with little description of character. Do you intentionally leave the characters of the seven knights/allies out of this section? While I don’t want to be inundated with too much to remember (always a turn off at the beginning of a novel), I need a little more “meat” to chew on in terms of character or emotion or specific setting description.
The last lines are a wonderful way to end the prologue leaving me ready to begin the adventure.

Comment on Prologue by Vanessa

Vanessa — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:30:34 +0000

This is a general editing comment about past/present tense with verbs.
EG: “seven knights rode” = past tense. You follow this with “the year is” = present tense. You follow this with “the king was” = past tense.
Stick to one or the other. I might suggest past tense for the prologue if the novel begins in present tense. or visa verse. Still, it is something to pay attention to throughout.